Anyone who knows me can tell you this: I am rather mellow about just about everything. In fact, my suggested superhero name has been dubbed “Captain Subtle” because not much phases me on an obvious level. The way I figure it, that unless something is a really big deal (e.g. death, house burning down, getting married, winning the lottery, the beginning of paw paw and/or fiddlehead season) that most events do not warrant an external grand show of emotion. Or it may not be polite.
Whatever. However, there are some seemingly nonissues out there in life that shank me between the ribs and fire up a rage saved for few things. This morning, Chef Dan Barber shoved a recently honed paring knife into my life with his quiet rant about vegetarians. What was normally a peaceful Sunday coffee sipping, paper reading morning was RUINED by this jerkoff. Instead I was left overcaffinated, pinching the bridge of my nose and itching to type.
So begins my argument pointed in the direction of this man.